-stupid fuckers-

    2003-05-28/12:02 a.m.

    So basically life has sucked lately.  I’ve been feeling bored and depressed most of the time, for no reason at all.  Like the other night, we went to see Bruce Almighty and I’m the asshole sitting there crying.  Not crying hysterically or anything, but just fighting back the lump in my throat the whole time.  Why?  I don’t know.  It was a cute movie, funny, I’d actually like to see it again, probably when it comes out on DVD.  And I chuckled a few times but I just couldn’t get rid of the gnawing feeling in my stomach that just made me want to cry.  Maybe I was having premonitions of how shitty the next day was going to be.  Because that’s when my car died.  On 295.  In the middle of an acceleration lane.  Yeah, the day that I had to sit there for an hour waiting for some jerky ass tow truck guy to come drag my car to Nissan, even though it was there for servicing just five days before that and after $400 of crap, they said everything was fine.  Well apparently it wasn’t, because today I had to go hand them over another $650 to make it work.  Stupid fuckers.  
And the past few weeks, work hasn’t even been fun.  Like usually I don’t mind it because it gives me something to do and it makes me some money (what little bit it is) and I like the people I work with.  But lately, I feel so pressured there.  I cant explain it really, and I guess it’s just part of being in retail, but I just feel like I have to be perfect all the time or else.  And I mean you always try to do the right thing, but people make mistakes, and it used to be so much fun because we would usually just have a good time while still doing our jobs. But now its just all business and it’s not the same.  I don’t know.  
So here I am with my burnt finger (exhibit A as to why I don’t use the oven), bored and on the verge of tears (as usual) with a $1000+ car debt, $50 in my bank account, and nothing really to look forward to on yet another fucking rainy day.  Sometimes I think I complain too much, but then I figure, it’s my life, so I’m allowed to bitch.  And besides, if people could ever really get inside my head, they’d be crying too.  Goodnight. 


    
    
    

    


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